When I feel pulled in every direction, I lose myself, and the ruler of the world catches me. After breaking down, lying face up and drenching the sheets with my tears of guilt, shame, and regret, I look beyond the ceiling and finally see the unchanging kind face of God.
It’s been a while. Somehow the ceiling has been obstructing prayers of my heart from getting through to the heavens for some months now. As I’m writing this, I can’t help but chuckle at how it was obviously the Father himself who re-moves the ceiling and the metaphorical trap that the evil one’s gotten me into.
I can see clearly now, how the Father and his unconditional love has never changed. His force abides in the wilderness of your heart. He cleans up my mess so thoroughly he leaves no trace, brushes every bit of dirt off my shoulders, showers me constantly with his foolish grace, changes me into pure white clothing with his fresh mercy, and grooming me into a better version than the last time I remember my own reflection. I cannot upset him enough to make him stop loving me.
Of all forms of worldly love, the greatest challenge of all is to mother, but you have the rest of your time here to keep practicing that love — the kind that gently, yet persistently loves even after you’ve messed up. Taming your challenging cubs, who each have their individual free will, can reveal how much God loves you and how much thought he’s given about you.
You have a mind of your own, and God’s deepest hope is you love him with all your heart too (as you would like your child to — with her own will), loving him so even before loving your children, and loving him with all your mind, all your might, all your soul.
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