TBR: Upcoming Releases to Look Foward to This Fall [Migrated Post]

Summer is officially over. As fall looms, my wish list is bombarding me with the season’s most-anticipated literary heavyweights.

With the likes of bestselling authors Malcolm Gladwell (Blink, Outliers, The Tipping Point, What the Dogs Saw), Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love, Committed), Mitch Albom (Tuesdays with Morrie, The Five People You Meet in Heaven, The Time Keeper), and Dave Eggers (What is the What, Zeitoun, A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius), I’m filling my nightstand with to-reads that the publishing world has been buzzing about.

Here are my 10 literary picks for you fellow bookworms to enjoy through the season, categorized under Fiction and Nonfiction:

NONFICTION

1. Man Repeller: Seeking Love, Finding Overalls by Leandra Medine

Page Count: 256
Release Date: September 10, 2013
ISBN: 978-1455521395
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
Genre: Humor, Fashion
What it’s about: Think full-length jumpsuits, fringed boots, and shoulder pads: Women today find that dressing in fashion-forward items often sends men running to the hills. Despite her endless ordeals, the 23-year-old voice of famed fashion blog The Man Repeller navigates through the sartorial substance with her signature sass, numerous punch lines, and a cutting wit.

2. Knocking On Heaven’s Door by Katy Butler

Page Count: 336
Release Date: September 10, 2013
ISBN: 978-1451641974
Publisher: Scribner
Genre: Memoir, Self-Help
What it’s about: This might be the closest thing you can pick up for a guide on “how to die”. Modern medicine paves its way through technological breakthroughs that aims to maximize longevity, but most of us overdo it. Before we know it, we might be arriving the end of life at the risk of our own terms. Building on the concept of ‘slow medicine’ explored in her New York Times Magazine story, "Good Deaths", award-winning journalist visits the intersection between pain – the natural, and suffering – the self-inflicted, of living as she meditates on the uneventful deaths of her parents.

3. David and Goliath: Underdogs, Misfits, and the Art of Battling Giants by Malcolm Gladwell

Page Count: 320
Release Date: October 1, 2013
ISBN: 978-0316204361
Publisher: Little, Brown and Company
Genre: Health, Psychology
What it’s about: By now, avid Gladwell readers would expect anything observed through his keen eyes is sure to provoke our minds. It’s easy to see how he got his inspiration for his fifth book David and Goliath, as we look back through his previous bestsellers, particularly from his research on successful people in Outliers. Starting off his discourse retelling the classic victory of little David over the monstrous Goliath, Gladwell challenges his readers to probe the hidden advantages of being the belittled one and examine closely the dynamics of every adversity that comes our way. Having drawn upon multiple stories from the courses of history, politics, modern scientific findings, and other areas of living, Gladwell’s latest page-turner is said to shed new light on experiencing setbacks, uncovering “the hidden rules that shape the balance between the weak and the mighty, the powerful and the dispossessed.”

4. The Many Lives of Miss K: Toto Koopman – Model, Muse, Spy by Jean-Noël Liaut & Denise Raab Jacobs

Page Count: 244
Release Date: October 1, 2013
ISBN: 978-0847841295
Publisher: Rizzoli Ex Libris
Genre: Biography, History
What it’s about: Twentieth-century European scene evokes a distinctive memory of the nonconforming model-turned-spy Catharina “Toto” Koopman (1908-1991), an iconic and inspiring beauty who lived a series of tragic and surprising events. Forever led under her free spirit, multi-hat-wearing Toto, who owed her exotic looks to her Dutch father and Indonesian mother, was described as “fiercely protective of her independence, was sought after by so many but ultimately known by very few,” mysteriously gliding through the worlds of fashion, art, politics in the quest to follow her many passions, namely archaeology, with tremendous audacity and poise. Noted for her collaboration with the Allies during the Second War, “she was a living mystery, at the same time as she was a social animal,” says co-author Jean-Noel Liaut on his subject to Stylezza. “Toto was full of interesting contradictions. She embraced tradition while also rejecting it.”

5. Focus: The Hidden Driver of Excellence by Daniel Goleman

Page Count: 320
Release Date: October 8, 2013
ISBN: 978-0062114860
Publisher: Harper
Genre: Health, Psychology, Science, Business
What it’s about: In today’s pervasive use of communication technologies, attention is scarce. We have all the distractions we need around us to demotivate us and shorten our spans. With Focus, pioneering author and psychologist on emotional intelligence Daniel Goleman returns to the increasingly limited resource and suggests that our laser-sharp focus is the essence of high performance. Backed by multiple case studies, Goleman provides a variety of practical ways we can sharpen our saws, such as meditation and the harness of positive emotions, to truly excel at work and in life.

6. Eat Move Sleep: How Small Changes Lead to Big Changes by Tom Rath

Page Count: 256
Release Date: April 23, 2013
ISBN: 978-1939714008
Publisher: Missionday
Genre: Health October 8, 2013
What it’s about: From the bestselling author of StrengthsFinder 2.0 and Wellbeing: The Five Essential Elements comes a well-rounded piece that promises to change how we think, feel, and act everyday. Gathering an array of information that tells how we eat, move, and sleep have deep-seated impacts on us and our immediate decision-making process, Rath’s comprehensive guidebook might just be the only reference you’ll ever need to make a difference in your life – starting with making better choices in the little things.

FICTION

7. The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion

Page Count: 304
Release Date: October 1, 2013
ISBN: 978-1476729084
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Genre: Rom-Com
What it’s about: In his debut novel, Australian IT consultant-turned-writer Graeme Simsion tells the hilarious and endearing tale of Don Tillman, a middle-aged professor of genetics, who sets out to find the love of his life. He began naively with “The Wife Project” – a 16-page questionnaire strictly designed to identify the most accurate criterions for his future wife, until everything changed when he met the Rosie, who he deemed as a “non-compatible” at first. Armed with her own quest to find her biological father, the pair made friends as the DNA expert immerses himself into “The Father Project” to help Rosie, only to find that the art of love will never be realized even with the most sophisticated scientific approach.

8. The Circle by Dave Eggers

Page Count: 504
Release Date: October 8, 2013
ISBN: 978-0385351393
Publisher: Knopf
Genre: Mystery, Thriller, Suspense
What it’s about: The tech world has been buzzing over McSweeney’s and 826 Valencia founder Dave Eggers and his upcoming technothriller for its implications to the modern state of the web and how the most powerful internet company (Goo-ahem-gle) may just be plotting evil plans. Described as “heart-racing novel of suspense, raising questions about memory, history, privacy, democracy, and the limits of human knowledge,” the book addresses the ongoing controversies over privacy with the tech empire’s universal operating system, which links users’ personal information across all existing accounts and platforms, “resulting in one online identity and a new age of civility and transparency”.

9. The Signature of All Things by Elizabeth Gilbert

Page Count: 512
Release Date: October 1, 2013
ISBN: 978-0670024858
Publisher: Viking Adult
Genre: Historical Fiction
What it’s about: Densely researched and an epic product of ambition, Eat, Pray, Love author Elizabeth Gilbert goes back to the craft of novel after twelve years of endeavoring her nonfiction bestsellers. In the book, Gilbert delves into the fundamental human thirst for knowledge by taking readers back to the height of the Enlightened 19th-century era, through the eyes of a young and brilliant botanist, Alma Whittaker. Ahead of her time, she was challenged with all she’s ever known when she met and fell in love with an artist named Ambrose Pike. An intersection of the author’s passion for science, art, travel, Gilbert’s latest opus draws an unforgettable heroine who’s willing to go across lengths of the world while singlehandedly driven by her deep curiosity for the signature of all things, one who realizes she is a maker of history, and markedly described as “a woman of the Enlightened Age who stands defiantly on the cusp of the modern.”

10. The First Phone Call From Heaven by Mitch Albom

Page Count: 336
Release Date: November 12, 2013
ISBN: 978-0062294371
Publisher: Harper
Genre: Self-Help
What it’s about: How would you react if one day you receive a phone call from the afterlife? That’s exactly what happens in a small-town Coldwater on Lake Michigan, where citizens answer calls from deceased souls and simply can’t tell the distinction between a miracle and a hoax. Whether you believe it or not, the internationally-acclaimed author of Tuesdays with Morrie and The Five People You Meet In Heaven is back with moving (and haunted) characters, on love and its boundless powers, and the principles of faith.


So. Which one of these releases has your inner bookworm taken a liking in?




Love, Stace

What I Thought About Sophie Kinsella's "Wedding Night" [Migrated Post]

“Young people! With their hurrying and their worrying and their wanting all the answers now. They wear me out, the poor, harried things. Don’t come back, I always tell them. Don’t come back. Youth is still where you left it, and that’s where it should stay. Anything that was worth taking on life’s journey, you’ll already haven taken with you.”

Blurb: Lottie just knows that her boyfriend is going to propose, but then his big question involves a trip abroad — not a trip down the aisle. Completely crushed, Lottie reconnects with an old flame, and they decide to take drastic action. No dates, no moving in together, they’ll just get married . . . right now. Her sister, Fliss, thinks Lottie is making a terrible mistake, and will do anything to stop her. But Lottie is determined to say “I do,” for better, or for worse.

When I pre-ordered the book back in April, I was having high hopes for another round of Kinsella’s frolicsome adventures. I mean, when I read her previous standalone, I’ve Got Your Number, which was released on Valentine’s Day last year, I consumed all 448 pages within less than 48 hours. I was hooked – as I’ve always been to her novels after Madeleine Wickham decided to get herself a pseudonym. Wedding Night was nothing short of a fun ride, but the plot was unexpectedly weak.

It all began when 33-year-old Lottie mistakenly thought that Richard, her boyfriend of three years, was about to propose during their fancy lunch at the Savoy. She even bought him an engagement ring. After having long-term boyfriends in the past who are downright commitment-phobic (the very mention of “marriage” scares them away), Lottie just knew Richard was The One. Of course, miss Daisy-doo was utterly crushed when she found that Richard’s ‘big question’ was not about getting engaged, but whether she’d agree to have a trip abroad together, which, by itself, is already a major milestone to any serious relationship.

So she dumped him.

Suddenly single again, Lottie got in touch with her one-time summer love, Ben, who reminded her of their pact to get married if they’re still single at thirty. Memories of teenage love and endless sex flooded both minds. Without giving the absurd idea much thought, Lottie and Ben jumped straight to the altar and jet off to Ikonos for their much-anticipated honeymoon. The Greek island was where they first met, and to make up for the lost fifteen years since they last crossed paths, they waited till they’ve landed on the island to have the most incredible sex of their lives, or, in their words, “to consummate our marriage” through one steamy wedding night. Little did they know each of them are at a terrible place in their individual lives, and their closest peeps know better than to let them run along in such a hasty marriage.

Two self-proclaimed control freaks are determined to go very, very far for their loved ones: Lottie’s elder sister, Fliss, who always manage to talk Lottie out of her crazy post-breakup Unfortunate Choices (including tattoos and joining a cult), and Ben’s longtime friend and business colleague, Lorcan, who has spent the last four years helping Ben stay out of trouble in his career.

How will the wedding night unfold? And what happens to Richard? Guess you have to find out for yourselves. I’m not spoiling.

I trail away into silence. I’ve just shared details of my condom use with my son’s teacher. I’m not sure how that happened. Fliss

I thought that switching first-person narratives of Lottie and Fliss in alternate chapters was fun. It was a fresh element to Kinsella’s novels. I got to put myself into the sisters’ heads during the same situation, even though they’re very much alike and both resonate with the bubbly-clumsy female protagonists of Sophie Kinsella. However, I also felt that there’s a slight disadvantage to this narrative structure: The main characters, i.e. the sisters, did not turn out as memorable as those in her other books. I sympathize with Lottie’s mishaps as much as Fliss’s hellish divorce, but by the end of the book, it dawned on me that the whole plot, though comical as ever, is less believable than the ones I’ve enjoyed on her other books. Though characters didn’t fall flat, I thought they can be developed further to advance the story in a steadier, more natural pace.

I also felt that the conclusion was a bit rushed. By the end of the book, some of the characters are left hanging even though I still care whatever happen to them in the end. The main characters, however, have grown so much from where they began, but I felt that the pacing from Chapter 30 onward was like a sprint: They pick up on their new epiphanies very quickly, and change the major courses of their lives in what felt like an instant.

Despite the rushed ending, I flipped more than half of the book last night without pause, and that’s what I love about Kinsella: Her writing style is so easy to follow that you can’t help but tag along with these characters. Man, her characters. They’re always so relatable, like the dumb women we become when we are in love. Taking aside the abrupt ending, I’d recommend Wedding Night as a light beach read and for its hilarious condom jokes ;)



Love, Stace

The Road to Success [Migrated Post]

We all know that there is no one-way road to achieving success. Even if there is such an established, perfectly-constructed system, no one has ever succeeded, not even those who have achieved success, in clearly showing others how to get there, though Varun Chablani has made a close call in the clever illustration below.

If we only take a closer look, you’ll find that the successful person just decides to succeed.

Success Story

The successful person is the first and the last to know nothing but to catch the one train in time to get himself toward Success.

Looking at the illustration, the successful person starts his humble beginnings at Opportunity and go straight to the railroad station before he misses his train, disregarding the appeals of Bohemianism (draft beers) or the endless spin of Conceit (self-engagement). Once on board under the Right System, the successful person takes no second glance at Hotel Know It All, an imprisonment appealingly masked as knowledge, because he has admitted himself to knowing nothing but catching his train.

Only by withholding his good habits and virtues could the successful person bypass Bad Habits and Vices in order to get into the promised land of the System, wherein the biggest and the only hurdle before success is overcoming the Lack of Preparation tunnel, a dark path where the successful person has chosen to learn True Knowledge and gain wisdom.

Once the successful person saw the light at the end of the tunnel, he becomes successful by autopilot: His train follows his soul beyond the Gate of Ideals across the straight, unobstructive path toward Success, while those who have never gotten onboard in the train could only get to Weak Morals at best, unless they finally choose to make the wise decision to succeed.

Then again, we all know that there are far too many successful people who have been welcomed into the promised land, gained wisdom, and practiced morality without getting onboard in their trains, right? Those who get back on their feet after falling into Failure have found the harder road toward Success by their own ideals.

The Public Secret

I’m currently reading the dean of personal development’s spoken word 1956 record The Strangest Secret, which has sold Earl Nightingale over 1 million copies worldwide even during his time.

Inspired by Napoleon Hill’s 1937 opus Think And Grow Rich, Nightingale wrote the book in honor of history’s most prominent successful persons, their succeeding contributions, and the strangest, yet most remarkable secret of all time, which has preceded these successes in the past as well as the extensive successes achieved today: We become what we think about.

This secret is synonymous with the message written on some of the best-selling self-help books in the industry today, namely Rhonda Byrne’s The Secret and the Hicks’ Ask And It Is Given.

Nonetheless, in Nightingale’s own words, success is defined by “the progressive realization of a worthy ideal.” By this definition, he has devoted a whole chapter to explore the intrinsic value of success, which I think is convincing because let’s face it – success feels better achieved by effort than when it is given.

This chapter is, arguably, a quotation-filled minefield that reflects how we often corrupt the very power of human thought in our lives by thinking in negative terms. Take a look at these clips:

A man’s life is what his thoughts make of it. Marcus Aurelius

A man is what he thinks about all day long. Ralph Waldo Emerson

The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind. William James

We need only in cold blood act as if the thing in question was real and it will become infallibly real by growing into such a connection with our life that it will become real. It will become so knit with habit and emotion, that our interest in it will be those which characterize belief. William James

If you only care enough for a result, you will almost certainly ascertain it. If you wish to be rich, you will be rich. If you wish to be learned, you will be learned. If you wish to be good, you will good. Only you must then really wish things and wish them exclusively and not wish at the same time a hundred other compatible things just as strongly. William James

If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth. Mark 9:23

This is one of the greatest laws in the universe. Fervently do I wish I had discovered it as a very young man. It dawned upon me much later in life and I found it to be one of the greatest, if not my greatest discovery, outside of my relationship to God. And the great law briefly and simply stated is that if you think in negative terms, you’ll get negative results. If you’ll think in positive terms, you will achieve positive results. That is the simple fact which is at the basis of an astonishing law of prosperity and success. In three words, ‘believe and succeed’. Dr. Norman Vincent Peale

Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt. William Shakespeare

People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want and if they can’t find them, make them. George Bernard Shaw

In other words, the secret acts like a mirror.

To live a successful life means creating our own reality, and doing so deliberately by using the power of thought.

Mirror, Mirror

You’ve probably picked it up from Chablani’s illustration, as well as from your own observations throughout the history of mankind: The road to success is, more often than not, a long and lonely one.

As someone who is prone to overthinking, I believe that I’ve created my everyday reality and am responsible for all my setbacks. It’s comforting to say personal achievements out loud, yet looking forward, it’s all too scary to realize them in the first place.

How you decide to succeed, therefore, makes all the difference.

Right now, at 23, I’m lucky to say that the rest of my life still offers a relatively thick block of blank canvas for me to fill. Because I’m aware that every decision I make, both the major and the minor ones, will eventually make a life that constitutes the sum total of my thoughts, I intend to exceed fulfilling my needs by going after my wants quietly.

I envision a life brimming with abundance of my own ideals, and by ideals, I don’t see material gains as much as I see time-tested virtues I particularly value become practiced and crystallized into reality, namely integrity and perseverance.

I’ve had enough of feeling guilty for rejecting others for fear of the attempt. Reframing fear as a motivator and maintaining love as my drive has served me well so far.

I hold Bob Dylan’s definition of success true, which I also believe was a precursor to Steve Jobs’ lifetime achievements as a father, a brother, a husband, a thinker, an innovator, and a hungry fool: “What is money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do.”

Oh, what freedom it is to desire what you already have.

“Success is going to bed at night in peace,” affirmed Stanley to me once, and I couldn’t agree with him more.

So tell me: What does success mean to you? Share your story on the comments section below.



Love, Stace

The 3 Types of Men [Migrated Post]

{ Greatness is a state of soul, not certain accomplishments. }
Debi Pearl

Recently I stumbled upon this book extract from a friend. It’s from Debi Pearl’s Created to Be His Help Meet.

When it comes to romantic relationships, I still very much consider myself a traditionalist. While I believe that women, like men, are created with an equally independent streak, I also believe that a committed woman has to adjust to her man and his needs (and vice versa).

I haven’t read the book, and I’m not a married woman yet, but I think it’s wise to get myself prepared for the role I’m going to play in my S.O.’s life.

So this is for you ladies. I’m sure you’re going to recognize every men you’ve met, dated, or secretly pictured yourself dating, as one of these types.

Mr. Command Man

God is dominant — a sovereign and all-powerful God. He is also visionary— omniscient and desirous of carrying out his plans. And, God is steady — the same yesterday, and today, and forever, our faithful High Priest. Most men epitomize one of these three aspects of God. No single man completely expresses the well-rounded image of God.

A few men are born with more than their share of dominance and, on the surface, a deficit in gentleness. They often end up in positions that command other men. We will call them Command Men. They are born leaders. They are often chosen by other men to be military commanders, politicians, preachers, heads of corporations, and managers of businesses. Winston Churchill, George Patton, and Ronald Reagan are examples of dominant men. Since our world needs only a few leaders, God seems to limit the number of these Command Men. These men see life as if they are looking from a high mountain, they see the big picture rather than individual needs.

They are known for expecting their wives to wait on them hand and foot. A Command Man does not want his wife involved in any project that prevents her from serving him. If you are blessed to be married to a strong, forceful, bossy man, as I am, then it is very important for you learn how to make an appeal without challenging his authority. We will discuss how to make an appeal later in this book.

Command Men have less tolerance, so they will often walk off and leave their clamoring wife before she has a chance to realize that she is even close to losing her marriage. By the time she realizes that there is a serious problem, she is already a divorced mother seeking help in how to raise her children alone. A woman can fight until she is blue in the face, yet the Command Man will not yield. Yielding would be against his personhood. He is not as intimate or vulnerable as are other men in sharing hi s personal feelings or vocation with his wife. He seems to be sufficient unto himself. It is awful being shut out. A woman married to a Command Man has to earn her place in his heart by proving that she will stand by her man, faithful, loyal, and obedient. When she has won his confidence, he will treasure her to the extreme.

A King wants a Queen, which is why a man in command wants a faithful wife to share his fame and glory. Without a woman’s admiration, his victories are muted. If a wife learns early to enjoy the benefits of taking the second seat, and if she does not take offense to his headstrong aggressiveness, she will be the one sitting at his right side being adored, because this kind of man will totally adore his woman and exalt her. She will be his closest, and sometimes his only, confidante. Over the years, the Command Man can become more yielding and gentle. His wife will discover secret portals to his heart.

If you are married to a king, honor and reverence is something you must give him on a daily basis if you want him to be a benevolent, honest, strong, and fulfilled man of God. He has the potential to become an amazing leader. Never shame him, and do not belittle him or ignore his accomplishments. Make it your life’s goal to become his queen.

Mr. Visionary

God is a Visionary as seen in his person, the Holy Spirit. He made some men in the image of that part of his nature. Prophets, be they true or false, are usually of this type. Some of you are married to men who are shakers, changers, and dreamers. These men get the entire family upset about peripheral issues, such as: do we believe in Christmas? Should we use state marriage licenses? Should a Christian opt out of the Social Security system? The issues may be serious and worthy of one’s commitment, but, in varying degrees, these men have tunnel vision, tenaciously focusing on single issues. They are often the church splitters and the ones who demand doctrinal purity and proper dress and conduct. Like a prophet, they call people to task for their inconsistencies. If they are not wise, they can be real jerks who push their agendas, forcing others to go their way.

Visionaries are often gifted men or inventors, and I am sure it was men of this caliber that conquered the Wild West, though they would not have been the farmers who settled it. Today, Visionary men are street preachers, political activists, organizers and instigators of any front-line social issue. They love confrontation, and hate the status quo. “Why leave it the way it is when you can change it?” They are the men who keep the rest of the world from getting stagnant or dull. The Visionary is consumed with a need to communicate with his words, music, writing, voice, art, or actions. He is the “voice crying out in the wilderness” striving to change the way humanity is behaving or thinking. Good intentions don’t always keep Visionaries from causing great harm. They can stir up pudding and end up with toxic waste if they are not wise. An unwise wife can add to the poison with negative words, or she can, with simple words of caution, bring attention to the goodness of the pudding and the wisdom in leaving it alone. Every Mr. Visionary needs a good, wise, prudent, stable wife who has a positive outlook on life.

The wife of Mr. Visionary should be just a little bit reckless and blind in one eye if she is going to enjoy the ride. If this is your man, you need to learn two very important things (beyond how to make an appeal). Learn how to be flexible, and learn how to always be loyal to your man. You will be amazed at how much happier you will be and how much fun life can be if you learn to just go with the flow — his flow. Life will become an adventure. You will actually begin to feel sorry for the gals married to the stick-in-the-mud, steady type. And once you get it into your head that your husband does not have to be “right” for you to follow him, you will finally be able to say bye bye to your overwrought parents, even when they are screaming that you are married to a crazy man. People looking on will marvel that you are able to love and appreciate your husband, but you will know better because you will see his greatness.

Greatness is a state of soul, not certain accomplishments. Over time, this type of man will become more practical. If you are a young wife married to a man whom your mama thinks is totally crazy — then you may be married to Mr. Visionary. Right now, purpose in your heart to be loyal to him, and to be flexible; then, let your dreamer dream. Lean back and enjoy the ride; it should prove interesting. Visionary Man will talk and talk and talk to his honey if she approves of him. He will be subjective, thinking about feelings, moods, and spiritual insights. One of his greatest needs will be for his wife to think objectively (proven truth) and use common sense, which will help keep his feet from flying too far from solid ground. He spends his life looking through a telescope or microscope, and he will be stunned that what he sees (or thinks he sees), others do not seem to notice or care about.

Mr. Steady

God is as steady as an eternal rock, caring, providing, and faithful, like a priest like Jesus Christ. He created many men in that image. We will call him Mr. Steady — “in the middle, not given to extremes.” The Steady Man does not make snap decisions or spend his last dime on a new idea, and he doesn’t try to tell other people what to do. He avoids controversy.

Being married to a Steady Man has its rewards and its trials. On the good side, your husband never puts undue pressure on you to perform miracles. He doesn’t expect you to be his servant. You do not spend your days putting out emotional fires, because he doesn’t create tension in the family. You rarely feel hurried, pushed, pressured, or forced. The women married to Visionary Men look at you in wonder that your husband seems so balanced and stable. The wife of Command Man marvels at the free time you seem to have. If your dad happened to be a Steady Man, then chances are you will appreciate your husband’s down-to-earth, practical life for the wonderful treasure it is.

When you are married to a man who is steady and cautious, and you have a bit of the impatient romantic in you, you may not see his worth and readily honor him. You may be discontent because he is slow and cautious to take authority or make quick decisions. A bossy woman sees her husband’s lack of hasty judgment and calls her Steady husband “wishy-washy.” His steadiness makes him the last to change, so he seems to be a follower because he is seldom out front forming up the troops. There is no exciting rush in him, just a slow, steady climb with no bells or whistles. You wish he would just make up his mind, and that he would take a stand in the church. He seems to just let people use him. There are times you wish he would boldly tell you what to do so you would not have to carry all the burden of decision-making.

Some women equate their husband’s wise caution and lack of open passion as being unspiritual. His lack of spontaneity and open boldness may look like indifference to spiritual things. However, he is like deep, deep water. The very depth makes the movement almost imperceptible, but it is, nevertheless, very strong. He will be confused with your unhappiness and try to serve you more, which may further diminish your respect for his masculinity. Disappointment and unthankfulness can make you wearier than any amount of duties. His very steadiness keeps him on his middle-of-the-road course, and it will drive a controlling woman crazy. This is why many disgruntled ladies married to Mr. Steadys fall victim to hormonal imbalance, physical illness, or emotional problems.

Know Your Man

Wives are very much flesh and blood, and as young women, we don’t come to marriage with all the skills needed to make it start out good, let alone perfect. When you come to know your man for whom God created him to be, you will stop trying to change him into what you think he should be.

The key is to know your man. If he is Mr. Steady, you need to learn to be thankful and to honor him as the one created for you in the image of God. Your husband’s gentleness is not a weakness; it is his strength. Your husband’s hesitation is not indecision; it is cautious wisdom. Your husband’s lack of deep spiritual conversation is not a lack of caring; it is simply the cap on a mountain of intense emotions.

If this describes your man, you need to learn how to stand still and listen; then let God move your husband in his own good time. Ask God for wisdom and patience. Seek to always have a gentle spirit. Stop expecting him to perform for you, to pray with the family, to speak out in witnessing, or to take a bold stand at church. Stop trying to stir him up to anger toward the children in order to get him to feel as though he understands how badly you are being treated. Let him be the one God made him to be: a still, quiet, thoughtful presence — for you!

A Steady Man likes a woman to walk beside him, yet grow in her own right before God and him. He needs a resourceful, hardworking woman with dignity and honor. It is important to Mr. Steady that his wife is able to be self-sufficient in all the mundane tasks of daily living. These men can be some of the most important men in the church, because their steadfastness is sure, and their loyalty is strong. They make wise, well-thought-out decisions.

Typically, Steady Men do not become as well known as Command or Visionary Men. They are not odd or stand-out men. They are not loud. They are neither irritating nor particularly magnificent. Women and men alike envy and desire a Command Man. People are often drawn and compelled by the Visionary. But the Steady Man is taken for granted. Much of this book has been written to help young wives learn to honor, obey, and appreciate the Steady Man just as he is.

Mr. Steady will enjoy the company of others and be most comfortable spending time in small talk with whoever is around. Of the three types, he is the one that will be most liked by everyone. Mr. Steady is always in demand. He belongs to people. He does not focus on the eternal picture like Mr. Command, nor is he looking through a microscope as Mr. Visionary, but he does respect both views as important. His vision is as a man seeing life just as it is. He can shift his sights to the sky and know there is more up there than he can see, and he wonders about it. Or, he can stare into a muddy pond and appreciate that there is a whole world in there that he knows nothing about. In most of life, he is a bridge between the other two types of men. He is a very necessary expression of God’s image. Of the three different kinds of men, it is more important that Mr. Steady have a help meet who likes him just as he is.

So which one of these godly types sounds most like your man? More importantly, are you ready to be his help mate? (I know I don’t. At least not yet :p)



Love, Stace

If You Are A Color, What Are You? [Migrated Post]

I'm always fascinated by personality typologies. You learn so much from the differences between you and your friends.

At the end of the day, I believe every one of us are as unique as how much we allow and dare ourselves to be. In this case, it’s how vibrant or delicate you represent a color from the undulating spectrum.

Get to know yourself a bit better through astrologer Michelle Bernhardt’s COLORSTROLOGY exposé, sponsored by color corporation PANTONE®. The revelatory chart is categorized into months, then dates, that tells you who you are according to the time of the year you’re born in. What follows is the specific tone from a color family that you resemble most.

Simply select your birth month and you’ll see a rainbow of color tones from various hues. You’ll notice how similar shades of different colors cluster together to depict a common trait or aspect of a person born in the selected month.

Apparently February has a dewy palette and is full of subtle pastels, such as salmons, sages, and lavenders. Hover on your birth date to see the specific color tone you represent.

As for me, if I am a part of any color, COLORSTROLOGY says that I belong to the pink/purple family:

February: Sheer Lilac

PANTONE® 16-3617

• Uplifting
• Progressive
• Detached

The color for the month of February is Sheer Lilac. Inspiring and imaginative, this color invokes the qualities of humanity and kindness. Sheer Lilac helps us comprehend the spirit of mankind and allows us to experience our friends and the people in our community as family. Use this color when emotionally entangled, as it can help you practice and understand detachment. Wear, meditate, and surround yourself with Sheer Lilac to enhance your spirituality and compassion.

February 24: Pink Nectar

PANTONE® 14-2305

• Sensitive
• Talented
• Aesthetic

You have a soft spot when it comes to loving and caring for people that are close to you. Trying to find a balance between taking care of yourself and the needs of others can be one of your challenges. You are usually good at anything related to the arts or creativity. [So, so true.] Your personal color helps you express your love without becoming too attached. Wearing, meditating, or surrounding yourself with Pink Nectar accentuates your beautiful spirit and allows you to enjoy the treasures that life brings your way.

On a side note, it’s also interesting how you can actually use a particular color tone, whether in any part of your clothing or accessories, to take charge of your mood and make the most of that day. Good to know that we're not supposed to leave everything up to fate.



Love, Stace

Who Are You in the Animal Kingdom? [Migrated Post]

I’m always fascinated by personality tests, notably accurate ones. A friend referred to me this website, Doubutsu Uranai (literally meaning “animal fortune-telling”), a very long time ago. I recently stumbled upon it again and recalled the self-reflection I went through the very first time I saw my results. I’ve got to say … 80% of it are true.

• You are Gold Lion, who is rather serious and polite type of person.
• You value personal relationships.
• You suppress yourself and act to be a sociable person.
• But you are really a person who doesn’t like to lose to anyone.
• You dislike emotional atmosphere and vague attitude. (huh?)
• You want to make everything clear-cut.
• You like to stay in your own little world.
• If you get in a situation where there are lots of people you can not express yourself and act as a perfect person.
• You are not very subjective sort of person, unlike ordinary women, but unfortunately you lack soft and gentle atmosphere.
• You tend to be too bold.
• You cannot help but stretch your hand to those who are in need.
• You are very kind person who helps the weak.
• You are also weak on compliments, and will work enthusiastically after someone has given a compliment.
• You will go about your duty steadily and loyally, and not get in a rush to achieve the objective. (I do take my own sweet time …)
• You have perseverance, and will work effortlessly until you reach your objective.
• Something that you have worked steadily for a long, long time, will turn out to be an asset to the world. (let’s hope for that!)
• You are careful and rational, and therefore place value to steady life.
• After getting married, you will be a devoted mother and a wife, but you are really a very dependent person, and prefer to keep your own little world. (hmmm …)

Backed by social and behavioral psychology studies, the Doubutsu Uranai personality assessment only requires you to include your date of birth to accurately determine who you are among the 12 different kinds of animals your unique traits and characteristics most closely resemble.

Once you know which animal you resemble most, you are further classified into one of the colors on their file. If you are situation-oriented, or otherwise noted as belonging to the New Moon family or the Sun family, you are either a yellow, green, gold, or silver animal. If you’re a laser-sharp objective person, belonging to the Full Moon group or the Earth group, you’re either in red, blue, brown, orange, purple, or black. Stripped off the ‘gold’ label, of which the gold lion is described as “bold and sedate, but have inner sensitivity”, I zoomed out a bit and went back to what I basically resemble: The lion.

1. Lions love special treatment and praise.

2. Lions say things like “Awesome!” and “Definitely!”

3. Lions don’t complain and are hard on others

4. Lions are perfectionists

5. Lions are not good with numbers

6. Lions’ mortal enemies are lack of sleep and an empty stomach

7. Lions own expensive things

8. Lions love silly puns

9. Lions are actually spoiled kids

10. Lions are outwardly impressive; but their rooms are a shambles

… aaand all 10 of the above statements are true, as my fellow Lion friend agreed too.

Take the test and see the results for yourself :)



Love, Stace

When You Feel Dead [Migrated Post]

Imagine life without love, giving, and sacrifice.

I think that none of us on this planet will enjoy a good life without understanding the true meaning of sacrifice.

Not any one can continue breathing air, for goodness sakes, without experiencing loss, without fighting for what they value, without surrendering their all to faith and hope that there’s still goodness in this world.

Not any one deserves to take in oxygen when all they can be is mere existence and can only do one thing: Give out carbon dioxide. Instead of bearing fruitions of love, such as joy and peace and patience, you’re merely taking up space and polluting the air. And because love is an action (as opposed to fickle feelings), it takes work – lots of hard, toilsome, time-consuming work.

Love is a lifelong labor to honor grace to its highest – higher than any human being on earth. It’s quite an impossible task, but you have to do it – you have to try for life. And so, to die for love is to be alive.

Your birthday was the day when you’re given the priceless gift to live. How you live your life is a way to show your gratuity to the ones that gave you life – the priceless people to whom, no matter what you do or how much you give in return for their gracious love, you will never fully cover the gift they’ve freely sacrificed their all for you.

Coming into existence without leaving behind a goodwill legacy is like serving a clean but empty plate on the dining table, with no dust to sweep, no dirt to wash away – no mountains to move, no obstacles to overcome, none whatsoever to go through, nothing to do with the plate except throwing it away as if thrusting a boomerang as far away as you can, leaving the broken pieces disperse into the distance and be gone from existence forever.

This is exactly how I sometimes feel, taking in oxygen for granted.

Immature Love Vs Mature Love [Migrated Post]

Immature love says I love you because I need you.’ Mature love says ‘I need you because I love you’. - Erich Fromm

I don’t consider myself fully ripe yet, but at its core I know that true love’s very nature is about being mature.

Love can only begin when you are righteous. Righteousness is a decision to firmly maintain an upright disposition in every respect of your being. It is the very essence of being mature.

I believe love ennobles us with gracious ethos. When we do things in love, it forces us to discern the difference between what we need and what we want.

George Orwell once said that sometimes, the first duty of intelligent men is the restatement of the obvious, and as a lover of wisdom, I believe it’s worth retelling what’s been told in every religion and across all faiths of humanity: What you ever need, you already have.

I believe we can be nothing else greater than vessels of love. When we’re willing to submit to the abundance of grace that is readily available for us to perceive, we roost a heartfelt affection for one another, and our selves are made lovely in its grace.

Too often we think or feel we still need something outside of ourselves when every inch of this potential is already lying inside you. Think about those moments when you lose yourself into a project you’re passionate about. You become the child you used to be, sitting on the floor in stillness, quietly drawing out your figments of imagination.

Like the child’s innocence, I believe we don’t need a reason to love the subject or object of our affection, nor we should be ignorant of concedable dangers while indulging in our passions, for love is not the exclusion of reason, but the marriage between reason and passion.

It is about being still no matter what comes your way. Whether your loved ones have surpassed or transgressed, you maintain peace at heart and loves him or her any how.  Whenever you make mistakes in your drawing process, you forgive yourself and keep going anyway. You don’t seek to glorify your self or your other half, but you give honor to the truth – that all you need is love.

When we are conscious of this truth, we can only satisfy our lives through more giving and less of receiving. Merely a vessel of love, we no longer feel deserving special treatments. We stop comparing ourselves with one another. We stop holding selfish thoughts or think we can only feel good through the possession of another. Instead, we feel good by our inherent human need for each other's support, and we do this by giving and forgiving others no matter what happens.

Love requires no prerequisites. You don’t have to win every argument or take the number-one spot in every competition to be able to give love and forgive those who have done you wrong. It simply requires you to accept the truth – that all you ever need, you already have.

Once you submit to the truth, love blooms and becomes a continuous dance of correspondence with the Creator of love, a beautiful life as portrayed like the drawing imagined to reality by the innocent, yet mature child.

Romance That Lasts: "Eleven Minutes" by Paulo Coelho [Migrated Post]

If there is one memorable romance book that has left a permanent impression on me, it's Eleven Minutes.
Internationally-acclaimed author Paulo Coelho, or better known as the scribe behind the classic bestseller The Alchemist, have always wanted to write about a love story exploring sex in the context of it being a spiritual experience. The inspiration gave birth to Eleven Minutes, a young girl’s journey to discovering true love in the most extreme conditions. With her immense curiosity and a heartbroken past, our young heroine redefines pleasure by veiling her deepest, most vulnerable self as a prostitute throughout her numerous encounters with men from all walks of life.

She found that, contrary to popular belief, men seek to pay not just for penetration, but mostly for refuge, for strength, for a pillar, for a shoulder to lean on, for a listener to share his burdens with, and sometimes even therapy. “A man doesn’t prove he’s a man by getting an erection,” explains a friend to our protagonist. “He’s only a real man if he can pleasure a woman.”

So what happens when she meets a man who saw that there’s more to her than a fairy godmother – that there lies an “inner light” in her soul?

This is the man she eventually fell in love with, and with whom she must face many trials to phase out her early convictions that “love is a terrible thing that will make you suffer.”

Though it sounds like a simple-enough plot and not many will see the romantic aspect of a prostitute’s story, I think that her idealizations about true love and the sacredness of sex are almost otherworldly. Fortified with a strong mind and a great self-control over her own emotions, the physical act of penetration does close to nothing to affect her ethos. She must fully submit all of her self, her whole psyche, in order to experience a lasting pleasure that endures more than just the fleeting eleven-minute moment in a hotel room.

Who know sex can be so intense. But this book's pretty much shaped how I define love and its integral underpinnings on sex.


Love, Stace