Note: It’s close to a week left before the wedding now, and I feel it’s the perfect time to reflect on how far me and 10 have come, because, let me tell you, it wasn’t easy to transition ourselves into the marriage milestone. We want to tell our story because it may help you figure out where you should be heading next in your current relationship, particularly those of you who are still pondering whether the man/woman you’re with is someone you can’t live without. This post is very special for me, as it was written by my soon-to-be husband. Hope you enjoy, and thanks for reading~
Before meeting Stacia, I have always thought that I would never get married. Because whenever I get heartbroken or get unrequited love from the girl I am interested in, I would always step up my expectations from the next girl I am going to date.
My list of criteria went like this:
1. Has to be tall
2. Has to be fair skin
3. Has to be adorable
4. Has to be slim
5. Has to have long legs
6. Has to live relatively near my house
7. Accept me for who I am
8. More importantly, has to love God
9. As a bonus, please be pretty …
I knew I was in trouble… I became critical with every girl I’m introduced to. I judged them before I even tried spending time with them… All because of the criteria I have set and I strictly followed them. I almost gave up….
But God is always kind to me. His favor never seems to stop, no matter how many times I have disappointed him. A girl was introduced to me… not as someone meant to be a potential girlfriend, but just as an acquaintance.
Stacia has fulfilled all the criteria, including the bonus, except the most important one: Does she love God or not? It turns out she didn’t… (at least not yet)
God didn’t stop there… In the past, if I found out the one I am interested in has a different faith, I stop pursuing. I didn’t want to be troubled with potential issues in the future that comes with faith differences. But this time, I couldn’t seem to stop thinking about her. I decided to take the risk – I confessed to her while making it very clear how serious and devoted I am about my faith, and will never leave Him no matter what.
After some consideration, she agreed to be my girlfriend. A feeling that I have not felt for almost a decade has finally returned to me and I forgot how it felt… a mutual love. What about the faith differences? Without me even mentioning anything, she followed me to church and started learning more about Him. Again, without me even saying anything to her, she decided on her own to get baptized, fulfilling the last the criterion I have set.
"Instead of thinking negatively about our differences, we think about how we can change, tolerate more, and adapt to accept each other’s differences."
Even though being with her has made the happiest moments of my life, I have to admit that those are not easy and smooth-flowing times. We are two very different persons, from different family backgrounds, cultures, and mindsets. It was hard to be a bridge between the two parties. I have to be a good, respectful son and brother, while at the same time I have to be a loving, understanding boyfriend and now… a future husband.
We always argue due to disagreements that arise from our differing mindsets, differing social and cultural beliefs, and differing ways of life. It’s not an easy task to merge my 30-year’s worth of teaching and experiences with a totally different 25-year’s worth of teaching and experiences. We hurt each other a lot. We made each other cry. But what I love in our relationship is that God never let us become separated. He intervenes when the problems get too serious and reminds us why we are together. We fix our problems. We find solutions. We make up.
Time came when I have to make the ultimate decision… the most important decision of my entire life… The proposal. I asked God, family, friends, and everyone else about this. What to consider, what to think, what to prepare. I was planning to propose after 2 years of dating, but I decided to rethink and get prepared for another year just to be extra sure and clear out any doubts. True enough, I only became more confident about making her my wife as I love her even more, not like a girlfriend-boyfriend love, but a lifetime-partner love. I proposed.
Post-proposal didn’t make our relationship less harder. We fought about even more serious stuff, sacrificed more, stretched comfort zones, increased expectations, faced with greater responsibilities, and got to know even more about each other… the good and the bad and yet more differences. But having gone through all that is proof to me… a proof of commitment and love towards each other. We worry about each other and only want what’s best for both of us. It is tiring and frustrating at times, but we make it through it all, thanks to God who continually binds us to become stronger than ever. These days, instead of thinking of breaking up after each major fight, we calm down, try to understand each other, and work together to find a solution. Instead of thinking negatively about our differences, we think about how we can change, tolerate more, and adapt to accept each other’s differences. All this will not go this beautifully unless God’s hand is working amongst us.
And here we are… Just a few days from being married… Who would have thought that I would get married when I was still in my position and situation a few years back before I met Stacia? I was picky and difficult when it comes to love – I won’t consider any further if I can’t picture myself with a girl in the future. Who would have thought that I would meet a girl of my dreams who accepts me, cares for me, and loves me? Who else would take me on this adventure, to laugh and to cry with me, even sharing my burdens? It has been a difficult process, a journey with plenty of turbulence, but with God’s grace and strength, we flew past through it all and has now arrived at our destination, embarking upon a whole new adventure.
