Dear C: There is No Relationship Without Trust

My dearest daughter,

Don't ever allow yourself to swallow somebody else's words when they don't even trust that you will understand them in the first place.

This is because no relationship in life can blossom without mutual trust.

So you are not obliged to succumb to their demands and/or desires, their hopes and dreams. It's different from the loving sacrifice of and for loved ones. While love is service, it is not the magnitude of your actions that matter, rather the attitude of your heart in the doing.

Not everyone who says they love you knows love. Though these people keep telling you to trust that they have the best of intentions, that you shouldn't have low opinions about them because of their nagging (which you shouldn't), not all of them have true faith, much less have faith in you. Therefore, it is impossible to fulfill their need to either a) get you under their control, or b) stop themselves from worrying.

The harsh truth is that sometimes, these people include mom and dad. We need Jesus as much as you do.

But know this: Even before you came into this world, we already believe in you. Because of our faith, Jesus has entrusted you with us.

So keep doing what God has called you to do, even if we don't always understand you, because He is the most reliable place to put your confidence in.

{ The fear of human opinion disables; trusting in God protects you from that. Proverbs 29:25 MSG }

{ Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. For by it the elders obtained a good testimony. By faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that the things which are seen were not made of things which are visible. Hebrews 11:1-3 NKJV }

{ But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him. Hebrews 11:6 NKJV }

{ I may speak in different languages of people or even angels. But if I do not have love, I am only a noisy bell or a crashing cymbal. I may have the gift of prophecy. I may understand all the secret things of God and have all knowledge, and I may have faith so great I can move mountains. But even with all these things, if I do not have love, then I am nothing. I may give away everything I have, and I may even give my body as an offering to be burned. But I gain nothing if I do not have love. 1 Corinthians 13:1-3 NCV }

{ while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:18 NKJV }

Review: "Fish In A Tree" by Lynda Mullaly Hunt

My rating: ★★★★☆

"Remember, Ally. When people have low expectations of you, you can sometimes use it to your advantage." Then he looks me right in the eyes and points at my nose. "As long as you don't have low expectations of yourself. You hear?"

I don't have much to say about "Fish in a Tree" except that I'd refer this heartwarming read to any educator … because I actually think the star of the story isn't the girl, but the teacher.

A story about grit, bravery, finding true friends, dealing with bullies, asking for help, offering help, and recognizing those who need it, "Fish" paints the transformation of Ally Nickerson, a dyslexic girl who started out deemed as nothing but an unruly middle-school student (so much so that she moved into seven schools in seven years) into the brilliant girl she already was. Her inability to read was something Ally herself decidedly regarded as "dumb" ("how can you cure dumb?"). Deep down, she's too ashamed of it to ask for help, because every year it's the same - schools label her a "slow reader". So she'd do anything, like pretending she's infected with the bubonic plague to avoid a writing assignment, to distract everyone from learning about her disability. Everyone but her newest teacher, Mr. Daniels, saw the bright kid underneath the troublemaker, and no sooner he reached out to help her discover there's a lot more to her than she thinks. 

Ally's story will help you break out of your shell and accept yourself as more than normal, because there's so much more than trying to fit in. My favorite character is Albert, one of Ally's best friends, who didn't let his need to belong compromise his integrity from the start. Like Ally, he also metamorphosed into an admirable boy who stood up for his dignity toward the end, even in the face of conflicting values.

Keisha whips around fast. "Why do you always try to pull people down?" she asks.

"Because some people deserve it, that's why," Shay answers.

"Deserve to be pulled down? Really?" Keisha asks.

Albert straightens his tie, which is the only part of his outfit that fits. He's even wearing his sneakers with the backs cut out.

"You know," he says, "logically, if a person was to pull another down, it would mean that he or she is already below that person."

I'm aware that there's already too many stories around that tells the same message, that it's triumphant to embrace your uniqueness, but as I said, the breakout star here is Mr. Daniels, and he's the reason anyone should be reading this book. Without his initiative, readiness to help, patience and flexibility to attend to his students' individual needs, Ally and her schoolmates will continue to misbehave, i.e. remain "not perfect and quiet", in their respective ways, which only reaffirms the labels people have already placed on them.

So much heart in this book that's similar to Counting by 7s by Holly Goldberg Sloan, although I enjoyed Sloan's book more as it covers a more diverse range of subjects and characters that gives it extra depth. But at its core, "Fish" provides substance in a way that brings tremendous hope for those with special needs, or for anyone who's constantly feeling left out, for that matter. I can understand why the viewpoint is confined to Ally's, as the author wants to make her message extra clear for her young readers. Because it's such an easy read, I recommend this book to anyone with a spare time.

"People act like the words 'slow reader' tell them everything that's inside. Like I'm a can of soup and they can just read the list of ingredients and know everything about me. There's lots of stuff about the soup inside that they can't put on the label, like how it smells and tastes and makes you feel warm when you eat it. There's got to be more to me than just a kid who can't read well."

See this book on Goodreads.

Literature Gives Us Identity

from Everything You Want Me to Be by Mindy Mejia

Every book changes you in some way, whether it's your perspective on the world or how you define yourself in relation to the world. Literature gives us identity, even terrible literature.

Dear C: People Talk

My dearest daughter,

Sometimes, it's not really about you.

Sometimes, people talk you down only because they want to feel better about themselves. These people usually take it behind your back, trifling and tattering from afar, as they seldom or never comes in contact with you.

Instead, be glad when someone corrects you directly, because this person is someone you can call a true friend.

{ The Lord corrects the people he loves and disciplines those he calls his own. Hebrews 12:6 CEV }