A Girl's Best Friend by Lindsey Kelk
MAJOR CAREER ADVICE
"Tess is going to shoot Sadie and James tomorrow," Angela explained. "She's a lifesaver."
from the look on Cici's face, I had to assume she did not agree.
"Angela, I know it's Christmas," she replied without taking her eyes off me. "And it's time for charity and all, but do you really think this is a good idea? Can we really not find a professional?"
If we hadn't been on the millionth floor of a skyscraper in the middle of Manhattan, I would have dug a hole in the ground, crawled into it and tried my very hardest to die. All the fight and fire I'd felt while convincing Angela to take a chance on me melted away in front of this very mean girl.
"So much of getting ahead nowadays is believing in yourself and you seemed pretty bloody convinced of yourself in my office yesterday or I wouldn't have given you the job. You can't let someone like Cici bring you down. There are an awful lot of those in this world."
"We can sit here all night and kiss your ass. But if you just want to wallow, there's nothing anyone can do for you."
"There are going to be a lot of people telling you you're shit, either because they're jealous of you or because they really think it. You have to be able to go out there with your photos and say, "oi you, look at my photos, they're amazing," no matter what anyone else says, not only when people are nice to you."
"A lot of people will tell you it's not what you know, but who you know," she said. "But I'm a big believer in right place, right time and making the most of opportunities when they're given to you."
"Never have that camera out of your hands, shoot everyone and everything and make the most of every opportunity that comes your way. If you want this, you're going to have to fight for it. It's not going to be handed to you on a plate."
"I don't think I can take over a sandwich shop," I replied. "But Amy could probably stage a pretty successful coup."
"The only difference between you and Amy is that she knows exactly who she is. […] You should never let anyone else tell you who you are, or you'll spend the rest of your life trying to be something you're not. The difference between you and Amy is simply that she has no fear. She doesn't compromise. You spend far too much time worrying about every possible outcome, whereas Amy acts first and worries later."
WHAT TRUE FRIENDSHIP LOOKS LIKE
"Do you know what I would do every time I started freaking out?" she asked. "I'd think, 'what would Tess do in this situation?'"
"I'm not sure about that," I said, slightly weird out that she was the second person in a week to say the same thing. "Tess has been making some really sketchy decisions lately."
"I disagree. Tess is the best," Amy replied, a look of quiet certainty on her face. "Tess follows her dreams. Tess is brave - Tess tells boys how she feels even when it's scary which is Beyonce of her."
"You've been spending too much time with Kekipi," I muttered. "But if you say so."
"Tess takes advantage of every opportunity that comes her way," she said. "You're working your are off to make this happen when it would be so easy to trot back to your old job and I'll be buggered if I'm going to let Nick Miller bring you down now."
"Fair enough," I said, the aching sick feeling that had been buried in my stomach starting to fade away with her words. "Shall we agree that we both feel terrible but we're both brilliant so we should eat things, drink things and buy things until we feel as awesome as we are?"
"Like I said, Tess is the best," Amy said. "Can I see your photos?"
HAPPINESS IS IN THE PURSUIT
"Your sisters haven't got what you've got; they're not ambitious like you. All they wanted was to get married and have a family and they can do that here, where I can keep an eye on them. But you were always different."
The words every child wanted to hear.
"You were always good at things, Tess," she said. "And you've done well for yourself. I don't want to see you throw all that away. Why can't you just settle down with Charlie? You don't want to end up like Amy, do you?"
"There's a difference between settling and compromising, Mum," I said as kindly as I could. "I wouldn't be happy if I went back now. And Amy's making a lot more money than I am right now, you wouldn't believe it."
"But you'll be happy struggling?" she asked. "Not knowing where your money's coming from?"
"I don't understand why anyone would want to struggle at your age," Mum said with a sigh. "Why do you make things so hard on yourself?"
"I don't want to make things hard," I said. "But I do want to be happy and this makes me happy. I think the struggle will be worth it."
I heard assorted sighing and tutting across the ocean while my mum attempted to come up with an argument and failed.
"All I want is for you to be happy," she said, finally.
"I am," I replied, sitting on the New York townhouse while some of my best friends ate Chinese food and got tipsy in the next room. How could I not be?
"And for me to have to worry about you," she added.
"I don't know if I can do anything about that one," I said. "But it's nice to know that you do."
"Well, of course I do," she muttered. "Right. I need to go to bed. Christmas dinner isn't going to cook itself in the morning and no bugger else is going to help me. Certainly not you, off gallivanting around New York."
And with that, normal parental service was resumed.
THE IMPORTANCE OF HAVING A SENSE OF HUMOR
"You'd spent a lot of money," he replied. "I didn't want to be rude."
"Fair," the other said. "But you're still strictly one and done? What happened to that chick you met over the summer?"
I must have poured fifteen spoonfuls of sugar into my tea before I realized what I was doing. Summer chick? Was I the summer chick? I had better be the bloody summer chick or I was going to jam this spoon into his jugular.
"Here's the soup," Debbie reappeared with an enormous bowl of soup and three packets of cream crackers. "Can I get you anything else?"
"No," I shook my head manically, trying to hear what Nick was saying over the radio and the other customers and Debbie's fantastic customer service. "Thank you."
What was with the cream crackers?
"No chance of working it out?" his friend asked.
What had I missed? What had I missed?
"Can I get you more hot water for your tea?"
More hot water? I looked at Debbie as though she had just asked if she could consume the soul of my firstborn.
LOVE IS . . .
"Go to sleep," I said, kissing the top of his head the way he always kissed mine. "I'm glad you're here."
"I need your freezing feet to cool me down before I can go to sleep," he muttered, smiling even though his eyes were closed. "I missed you, Tess."
"I missed you too," I said, brushing the hair back off his face. "Now let me finish off these photos."
"My very own Annie Leibovitz," he whispered into a yawn. "I can't wait until you're incredibly successful and I can retire a kept man."
"Your hair smells like a wet dog," he said, squeezing me tightly.
"I know." my voice was muffled by his damp football shirt and smiles. "It's a new thing I'm trying. All the rage in Milan."
"I'm glad you're here." He squeezed my shoulders once more and then let me go. Without the weight of his arms around me, I felt so light I worried I might float away. "I've been feeling like shit for months."
I'd never been so happy to hear that someone I loved had been miserable because of me.
ON TAKING YOURSELF SERIOUSLY, BUT NOT TOO MUCH
"I don't actually have a boyfriend," I said.
"Girlfriend?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.
"No, not gay, just single," I replied. "Did you think I was gay?"
"Not so much," she said with a shrug. "Just maybe your shoes. And your pants. And-"
"Well, I'm not," I interrupted, folding my gay feet underneath my gay jeans. "Just single."
"But there must be someone you like," she said, a conspirational smile on her face. "There's always someone."
"It's complicated," I said, returning her smile. "When is it not?"
"You just gotta go for it," Sadie said, shrugging her delicate shoulders as though it was that simple. "You gotta know what you want and you gotta go get it."
"Good advice," I admitted. "But what if what you want isn't a good idea?"
"Oh, it never is," she laughed. "But since when did that stop anyone?"
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